Monthly Archives: September 2010

warmth.

as i walked out of the office today, i was struck by the uncharacteristic warmth that the evening breezes carried. for those of you who have ever been to san francisco,  you know that “heat” is not a word that usually describes the temperate (albeit fickle) nature of this fair city.

on my trek downtown, somehow the memories, noises, and feelings of two falls ago washed over me as i felt myself transported back into the depths of september shanghai evenings. it reminded me of the excitement of a city stumbling through the spring reincarnation of a new century, and the growing pains that accompanied it. it reminded me of the constant awe i felt at realizing that even if i were to live in shanghai, there was always so much to discover (i know this is true of any city but shanghai especially reminds me of this).

except this time, the hustle and bustle of the city was not that of shanghai, but of san francisco, a city i have dutifully called “home” for the past three years.

a lot has happened in those three years, but none have truly been as significant as this year. i remember starting the year out saying that this would be year where i wouldn’t have any real resolutions — not in the sense that i didn’t want to accomplish anything, but because i truly didn’t know where it would go.

and thus far, it has held true. i have left one job in pursuit of a dream and in doing so, have seemingly found balance with the start of another career.  and in doing so, i have continued to find pieces of myself, and i am truly thankful for the friends who have helped me discover those pieces along the way.

but perhaps the most important lesson i’ve learned and that this “journey” has given me thus far this year is that nothing is absolute. i have always believed that life is a journey, and one worth exploring, but i guess i had never really lived it. while i can’t say that i’ve really explored, at least i now know that i can.

and for the commitment-phobe in me, that is a lesson that is well-taken to heart. 🙂

but in all honesty, perhaps that’s what our 20s should be about – to set out into uncharacteristic falls, to stumble, explore our curiosities, and really live our life rather than follow a blueprint that has been handed to us. and for some people, that may be following the guidelines in pursuit of one social milestone after the next – and that’s okay … as long as you’re doing it for yourself.

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nostalgia

santa cruz - 2006

/*introspective post: nostalgia is a funny thing; in an earlier episode of “mad men“, don draper said that nostalgia in ancient greek meant “pain from an old wound.” i’m not sure how true that statement is, but the sentiment is certainly probable.

tonight i stumbled upon old journal entires, and i guess … it’s funny how some things change and others go in cycles. it’s also amazing how much you can forget, but at the same time, how easily and quickly it can be for memories to wash over you again. i guess now in the digital age, it’s only easier to document all these changes rather than on the pages of string-bound diaries (the notion of it, eh?).

i wonder if i were able to go back to my 17 and 21 year old self, i would tell her to stop and smell the tulips some time, that there would continue to be plenty of adventures ahead, and that the white-board for memories remain plenty.

introspective post*/

(by the way, the new zemanta function on wordpress is pretty awesome — basically, it makes suggestions for you (links, tags, pictures etc. based on the content you type. if you use wordpress as your blogging platform of choice, definitely be sure to check it out :))

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c’est fini

“even a brick wants to be something” – louis khan

as long as the road is,

as high as your dreams may soar,

to thine own self be true

is the single greatest truth there is

while some may call you foolish,

and others may watch you with peering eyes,

at the end of the road –

be sure that you are still you

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